The Monkey Trap: Being Smart Enough to Let Go

We carry around past experiences like a ball and chain; we are tethered to our own mistakes, the wrongdoings of others, and negative, uncontrollable events. Instead of learning the lessons from those experiences and moving on with our lives, we often relive those moments with with a variety of harmful, lingering emotions such as regret, anger, embarrassment, sadness, and even confusion.

Holding on to the past weighs us down, robbing us of our freedom and leaving us incapable of enjoying the gifts of the present moment.

A good analogy for this is the monkey trap.

In South India, natives developed a clever way to capture pesky, little monkeys wreaking havoc in their villages. Locals would hollow-out a coconut, leaving a small hole where a monkey could slip its hand through. The coconut was then filled with a prize, such as sweet rice, and staked to the ground.

A monkey, sensing a delicious treat inside, would hastily slide its hand inside the coconut and clutch onto the food. When it tried to retract its hand, the monkey would find itself unable to escape.

To regain its freedom, the monkey would have to relax its hand and relinquish possession of the treat. However, either too greedy to let go or unaware of the power of its choice, the monkey would maintain its fist and remain captive.

To see a similar monkey trap, filmed in 1912, check out this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jBgo7UipqY

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It’s so easy to hold on to things that don’t serve a purpose in our lives — not only past experiences and events. Sometimes we latch onto aspirations, worldviews, and people without seeing the harm it causes to our mental and physical wellbeing.

Although we have the choice to let go, we often don’t, and we remain a prisoner.

Throughout the last couple of months, I’ve realized the limitations I’ve put on myself by holding on to outdated mindsets, past experiences, and even people who are no longer in my life.

It’s time to let go, and here’s how I’m planning on doing it:

1. Forgive

Everyone, including myself, is operating to the best of their current ability, wisdom, and knowledge. Forgiveness is an act of letting go, and it gives us peace.

2. Be Grateful

Despite how difficult things seem right now, it could always be worse. There’s beauty and peace in the ordinary and mundane, and it takes a disciplined eye to appreciate all the simple, lovely things in the life.

There is so much to be grateful for, and once we identify those things, it grounds us in the present moment. Being grateful lightens our load.

3. Get Excited

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”― Dalai Lama XIV

Staying open to unexpected opportunities is exciting, and maybe if we let go of our past and expectations, a better future will arrive that’s better than the one we could have ever imagined.

4. Embrace the Power of Doing

There’s power in the act of doing….it builds satisfaction, confidence, and peace. Find something to work on….and work.

5. Relinquish Control of the Uncontrollable

It’s an act of self-hate trying to control the uncontrollable — even if it’s done out of love. Negative events will happen and people will think or act foolishly. All we can do is observe, respond in the kindest and most productive manner possible, and accept the fact that the universe will take its natural course.

Life is too short to choose to be miserable. If we can learn to let go, we can reclaim our autonomy, a continuous sense of wellbeing and joy, and excitment.